Out of Order

Out of Order is the 6th Oxventure episode of the Second 2 and the 13th episode overall, in which our adventurers go on an unexpected religious adventure.

Synopsis
Egbert has a religious vision and is sent on a quest to stop a great evil, he, along with the rest of the guild must stop a horrible thing from happening in the city of Mistmire and save the Paladin Order.

Summary
It has been a few weeks since the last adventure and the Guild has taken a break from adventuring and learned a few new skills. During this time, Egbert has learned how to juggle his tinnies, Prudence has spent her time thinking about life choices and the people she surrounds herself with, Merilwen has gone on an underwater cruise getting in touch with her "watery side", Dob has been spending time with his sister, and Corazón has gotten a new hat.

With all their mini adventures completed, the group decide to meet up and go for a walk in the country. Egbert is still annoyed that his kidney was stolen. Dob says that his sister has been sends her best to most of the Guild, but when asked which members she didn't send her best to he changes the subject to bird watching. As Egbert looks up to the sky his vision starts to blur. He is worried for a second, thinking that he's going to pass out, but soon he sees the sun turn around to reveal the head of a cow. It is La Vache Mauve, the cow deity Egbert worships. It tells Egbert that it is pleased with how Egbert has kept with his faith, but isn't very happy in how he has been exploding everything around him. It tells Egbert to head east, as he wants him to prevent a great evil that is about to happen, before disappearing again.

This whole time, the rest of the Guild just see Egbert talking to the sky. Egbert tells them what just happened, but they don't believe them. He tells them they must head east and runs off towards the sun, with the others chasing after him. A quarter day's journey later the Guild arrive, exhausted, at a market town called Barrow Springs. They enter the town for something to eat and see a sign saying that it is the "Questgivers' Market". Overwhelmed by the amount of quest, they ask the Head Questgiver, Sir Jeeves, for help sorting out the important quests. After getting three dud quests in a row, during which Dob receives a bag of gold from an old lady and eats half of it before anyone can stop him, they encounter a city guard looking for bounty hunters. He explains a fugitive has robbed the local apothecary and ran out of his jurisdiction, towards Mistmire. Everyone wants to take this quest, except Egberrt, who seems hesitant.

On the way to the place, Egbert explains that he can't go into Mistmire, because that's where he used to live. He explains that he was banned from Mistmire by his Paladin Order until he atones. Dob then comes up with a plan, and uses his Disguise Kit to turn him into a giant seahorse. As they arrive at Mistmire they set up a tent outside the city and start telling people to see the seahorse for a copper penny per person. A woman comes up and explains that she was the apothecary that got robbed, and she followed them from Barrow Springs on a horse when she saw them run toward Mistmire after taking the bounty.

Corazón interviews her, and she says that a man came into her shop asking very specific questions about poisons, like what is the most odourless and tasteless. She became suspicious and denied him service, and he knocked her over and stole the ingredients for a poison called the Pale Tincture, which kills you within twenty four hours. She tells him that the culprit was a Rogue named Jacques Darkfall, a name that immediately makes Corazón smitten with him. The woman thanks the Guild for helping them and leaves, promising a discount at her store. The Guild then come to the conclusion that Darkfall might be planning to poison all the Paladins in Mistmire.

They enter the city and try to find the criminal underworld. Egbert points them towards the shadowy section of the city, but Corazón looks for Thieves' Signs for extra information. He sees a few reviews of places, outlining customer service and easy targets, and learns that there is going to be a meeting at a place called The Reach that late afternoon. They head towards the literal shady part of town, with Corazón stealing from the easy shops on the way. Once in the rundown allies, they decide to blend in to not seem like an easy mark to the thieves while they wait on the meeting. Prudence is so good at blending in she disappears into the shadows. Merilwen nearly gets in a fight with a thief, but Dob casts Calm Emotions and tells him to go to the other side of town to rob a shop.

Eventually, they see a man enter a ramshackled pub that they didn't notice called The Spoiled Vintage. They come up with a plan to send Corazón into the pub, with Merilwen using Wild Shape to turn into a cat to join him, while the rest wait on the roof in case there's a confrontation. Prudence casts Spider Climb to climb up the wall, horrifying Corazón, while Dob just somersaults on to the roof and pulls the seahorse Egbert up. Feeling like they aren't in a place of the city where they'll get caught, Egbert gets out of the seahorse.

Corazón enters the tavern, ordering two ales for him and the cat Merilwen, and sits near the meeting of thieves. It's hard to hear them, because it's difficult to hear Thieves' Cant at range and the Guild keep making noises on the roof, but he manages to hear their plan. Six of them are going to distract the Paladins while Darkfall poisons the water supply. Corazón tries to leave, but one of the thieves wants to buy Merilwen. The two of them are about to fight, but Dob casts Calm Emotions and defuses the situation, convincing the thief that he doesn't want a cat. But, on the way out, Corazón attacks the thief breaking the spell, and the thief throws a knife at Corazón before he leaves.

Corazón tells the Guild what he's learned, and Egbert is ecstatic, thinking that if he can save the Paladins he can atone for his sins. When asked what he did, Egbert says that he doesn't want to explain, but it didn't relate to any of them. Dob asks Egbert what the thieves want from killing the Paladins, to which he explains that they are most likely after their horde of treasure. As they decide to sneak through the sewers, as Egbert can't go in the front, the spell Dob casts runs out and the thief remembers that he did indeed want a cat. The thief emerges to get his cat and Merilwen turns into a bear, scaring the thief back into the tavern.

They back to the crawling through the sewer plan, planning to find out why Darkfall wants to kill them, and Prudence asks why don't they just warn the Paladins that there's someone who's planning to poison them. Dob responds that they probably won't listen to them due to the way they look and act. Corazón then announces that he has a new spell called Disguise Self, saying he could disguise himself as a person the Paladins trust so they'll listen to him, and Prudence immediately mocks learning a spell via reading. Dob tries to reassure Corazón that it's okay that he's learned a different way of receiving spells than the other members, but Corazón takes this the wrong way, and disguises himself as Dob and throws a brick and a nearby bank. A call rings out which attracts the Paladins.

Dob backflips onto the roof to avoid getting arrested, Egbert hides to not get caught, and Bearilwen pretends to be a taxidermied bear outside the tavern. A group of Paladins arrive to find out what's going on. Dob casts Sleep on the old lady who saw "him" throw the brick, and jumps down from the roof. He introduces himself as an agent of Ye Olde Interpole and tells them about the plot to poison them. The leader of the Paladins, another Dragonborn named Captain Shattershield, doesn't seem to believe him, because he sees that Egbert is there. Egbert tells him that Dob is telling the truth but, even though he say they'll look into it, the Guild don't believe him. They all disperse to go on their own personal missions, before the old lady wakes up.

As they reluctantly decide to head into the sewers, remembering what it was like last time, Egbert agrees to give Corazón a piggyback ride and Bearilwen gives Dob and Prudence a ride. As Prudence points out that the entrance to the sewers might be booby trapped by the Paladins, for security reasons, Bearilwen tears off the grate, springing a trap that ignites the gases in the sewer, lightly burning Bearilwen and Dob, burning off the front half of Bearilwen's bear hair. Dob cast Cure Wounds on himself and Bearilwen, restoring her fur, while the rest of them decide to look out for traps from then on. Dob immediately runs down the sewer afterwards.

Eventually, Egbert leads them to the part of the sewers that's underneath the central courtyard of the Paladin's headquarters. Corazón suggests that he'd use his Disguise Self spell to disguise himself as a Paladin, and Egbert gives him the description of a non suspicious Paladin named Chauncey, as he's most likely to get trapped in the sewers. Corazón sneaks into the headquarters, lightly injuring himself on another fire trap, and is seen by a guard. The guard isn't suspicious of him, as Chauncey is usually a lovable screw up, and confirms their suspicions that the Paladins weren't going to look into their warning. Corazón, as Chauncey, suggests that they maybe should look into it just in case. The guard then shows him to the water supply, which is a well in a room, and puts "Chauncey" in charge of guarding it.

Meanwhile, with the guard gone with Corazón, Bearilwen casts Druidcraft and makes one of the nearby guard smell like a skunk's spray. As two of the three guards are distracted by the smell, Egbert sneaks out and heads to the water supply. Bearilwen comes out next, but she's immediately spotted. She takes advantage of this, and leads the guards away for the others to sneak out of the sewer. At the same time as Bearilwen an alarm goes off. The guard who assigned "Chauncey" comes to him and begins screaming about how he was right, as people are attacking the gate. He tells him to guard the water supply as goes to protect the gates. Dob follows the guards chasing Bearilwen, while Egbert shows Prudence to the water supply.

Egbert and Prudence meet up with Corazón, who says he hasn't seen Darkfall yet. Egbert suggests, seeing how Darkfall will most likely use the confusion to infiltrate the building, that they hide and wait for Darkfall, making it look like only "Chauncey" is there. Prudence hides behind a barrel and Egbert jumps into the well, polluting it with the sewer water he's still covered in, while "Chauncey" continues his patrol.

Meahwhile, Dob has caught up with the guards chasing Bearilwen. He explains that he's from Interpole and "Rachel" the bear is extra security that Shattershield asked for. He tells them to get to the alarm for the courtyard, which is a different alarm for the gate, and leaves before they can argue with "Rachel". They reunite with the group, and Dob casts Prestidigitation on Egbert and the water to clean them up. They then come up with a plan to make a fake well and present it as the new well. Corazón casts Minor Illusion to create the fake well while Dob covers up the real well with a sheet. Dob then hides above the door and Bearliwen pretends to be a taxidermied bear in storage, while everyone else stays in their hiding places.

Eventually Darkfall arrives, and is immediately is confused by the Paladins choice to store taxidermy with their water supply, especially ones of such poor quality. He then attacks "Chauncey" so he can poison both wells, just to be safe, but is surprised when the seemingly weak Paladin dodges out of the way. Corazón then reveals himself to the fellow rogue. After the two compare boots, Corazón attacks Darkfall with his rapier, but he is just as quick at dodging attacks as Corazón. Bearilwen then cast Entangle to ensnare the rogue, but he avoids it. Egbert the jumps out of the well and tackles Darkfall and restrains him. Prudence then takes this opportunity to steal the poison off of Darkfall. Dob, after inspiring Egbert, jumps down from the door and tries to cast Sleep, but Darkfall notices him and the spell doesn't work.

Darkfall manages to escape Egbert's grip, and disappears. Corazón spots him in the rafters of the room and alerts everyone to where he is, before hiding himself. Bearilwen manages to swipe at him and majorly injure his back. Egbert, not wanting to kill someone in a place of worship, Commands Darkfall to disrobe. Despite everyone else agreeing that "surrender" would have been better, Darkfall does indeed remove all of his clothing. During the disrobement, Prudence fires an Agonizing Blast out of shame for Darkfall, for his "own benefit", which removes his shirt and scars his arm, and Dob casts Heat Metal which causes him to drop his rapier, which then melts.

With Darkfall now naked, Corazón tries to give him the option of surrendering to save his dignity, but he refuses. With Darkfall unwilling to cooperate, Corazón stabs him and hides again. Bearilwen then attacks Darkfall again, dislocating his shoulder. It is at this point that Darkfall realises that he's naked, just before he dies. Corazón laments the fact that he couldn't talk him down, but steals his clothes regardless, Egbert covers the naked corpse up with the sheet from the well. Corazón voices his annoyance at the fact that they'll never know why he wanted to poison the well, but Dob begs to differ. Dob then casts Speak with Dead, a spell Dob learned to try and apologise to the orphans he accidentally killed, and brings Darkfall back to life.

Everyone hides as Darkfall reanimates and Corazón disguises himself as the Grim Reaper, claiming to be here to interview Darkfall before he takes him to the afterlife. Corazón asks Darkfall why he wanted to kill the Paladins, to which he says that he did it for revenge and that he had to flee something "burning bright" and had to "swiftly go". Corazón then asks if Egbert is involved in the vengeance, but Darkfall doesn't know who he is. With all questions used up, Darkfall dies again. Corazón then comes to the conclusion that the Paladins must have burnt down something close to Darkfall and people fled from them and starved as a result. Egbert suggests they ask Shattershield about this.

Corazón refuses to stop disguising himself as Death, and Shattershield immediately calls upon the guards. Egbert calms him down, and explains the situation. After verifying Egbert's claims Shattershield says that they've been hunting Darkfall for a while, and the Guild should have just said it was him and would have help them. Corazón gets so furious at the fact that they've heard of Darkfall that he drops his disguise and complains. They ask Shattershield about Darkfall's cryptic message and he says he doesn't know what he was talking about. Shattershield says that Egbert hasn't fully atoned for what he did, but his actions have done a significant amount towards it. Merilwen transforms back into her Elf form and chastises Shattershield for not rewarding Egbert properly for saving their lives.

Dob tells Egbert that he doesn't like the Order, and feels like Egbert has done enough to earn his atonement. Egbert is flattered, but feels like he still has more work to do. Egbert then tells Shattershield about Liliana and how she stole his kidney, which is technically still property of the Order, and asks for help to find it. Shattershield says he'll think about it. Shattershield orders them to take Darkfall's corpse, and they take it to turn in the bounty, Dob casting Mending to heal his shoulder in order to make sure it stays in one piece. They collect the bounty and Merilwen collects the money. Suddenly we see all of this is being watched by a very familiar Drow woman, swirling a jar containing a kidney, via some kind of magic spell cast on a bowl of water.

Notable Events

 * Egbert gets a vision from his god.
 * We meet Egbert's Paladin Order, The Noble Order of Le Dragon D'or.
 * Prudence steals a very deadly poison from Darkfall.

Guild Hijinks

 * Dob disguises Egbert as a giant seahorse, and Corazón tries to profit off of him like a freak show.
 * Corazón disguises himself as Dob and frames him of trying to rob a bank.
 * Egbert commands a man to strip.

Character Development
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Trivia
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Behind The Scenes Trivia
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