Quiet Riot

Quiet Riot is the 5th Oxventure episode, in which the Guild try to retrieve some wheels.

Synopsis:
As the first episode begins, the freshly leveled-up Oxventurers encounter a waylaid travelling troupe, accidentally recruit a jester, and investigate the mysterious Paladin Order that has the town of Inkwater very quietly terrified.

Summary
A couple days after their last adventure, during which they did some levelling up and joined a few factions, the Oxventuers are looking for a bit of rest and relaxation in the town of Inkwater. The Guild comes across a strange wooden oblong in the road. They're waved down by Flannery the Jester who begins to ask for help before the team ask to speak to anyone else. The shape turns out to be a large carriage and from a sliding door in the side emerges Lady Fyengeh. She explains that they are a troupe of touring minstrels who had planned to put on a show in the nearby town but were stopped by men in shining armour who declared the group to be sacrilegious and stole their wheels. The Oxventurers agree to help but rather than settling on a price they instead wind up taking Flannery along with them.

As they head out Lady Fyengeh reminds Flannery to fill them in on the golden wheels which he dutifully explains are in fact gold plated steel. The Guild is slightly disappointed, but resolves to just melt the gold off. Flannery continues to babble incessantly.

Once in town it quickly becomes clear that although the place isn't deathly silent the locals are making an effort to be as quiet as possible. As it's market day Corazón begins flogging his wares and, having haggled with an old lady over a "Don't be a Dob" t-shirt, he asks about the unusual quietness. Rather than speak she fearfully points up the street to a square castle atop a nearby hill. Winding their way towards it the team pass a tavern where two town guards are very carefully nailing a notice to the door which reads "Closed by Mandate of the Sacred Order of Keeping It Down". They realise that the wheels were not stolen for their gold but rather to prevent a noisy concert.

They learn from one of the guards that the order are only renting the castle and recently began cracking down on any noise making in the town. The Guild decides to liberate the town. The castle is heavily defended and so plan is formed to draw out some of the paladins with a loud noise, steal their armour and sneak in as guards/prisoners. Although Egbert and Dob are desperate to set off a bomb they eventually settle for ringing the bell of a nearby church. When they arrive at the church they discover that it was closed down because of "heresy", and the Guild comes to the conclusion that the Order won't even allow weddings, and become even angrier, as they fight for love. Corazón picks the lock and casts Grease to mute the rusty hinges. On their way in Dob and Corazón glide in effortlessly through the grease, Flannery shows off his acrobatic prowess and the others completely stack it, slipping in the grease. An investigation of the bell reveals that the clapper has been removed, but thankfully Egbert still has a mace.

An ambush is set up, with Egbert wailing on the bell, singing tunelessly as the others wait behind pillars in the church. The streets clear of civilians, and what is initially feared to be a ballista in the fort turns out to be a banner, reading "KEEP IT DOWN" and six armoured paladins rappel down the walls. Merilwen casts Spike Growth behind the grease, planning to damage the paladins a little. Unfortunately, no one considered how much damage Spike Growth does per five foot. Upon entering, five of the paladins fail to spot the trap and are annihilated before even seeing a single Oxventurer. Everyone is horrified at the accidental bloodbath, and Egbert vomits over the side of the church. The last paladin flees and is promptly put to sleep and tied up. Egbert interrogates the last survivor who explains the beliefs of their order, but won't reveal any tactical information. Swept up by the recent bloodshed, Dob and Corazón threaten the lone paladin with the Heat Metal spell and, after warning them of dire consequences, he gives in telling them that there are 10 more paladins, but that the Order cannot leave.

Having stolen their armour, the Guild locks the paladins in the office and pose the corpse on the altar. With Merilwen, Corazón and Flannery dressed as guards, and the others pretending to be prisoners, they head for the castle. Dob floats the idea of using his disguise kit to make Prudence look normal, which prompts Cthulhu to ask her if she couldn't have made any normal friends. The occupants are convinced by the secret wave and the Guild are greeted by a guard, who Prudence and Dob begin to provoke. In the main hall they are debriefed by Watch Commander, who inadvertently tells them where to find the wheels. Before they can be escorted out Egbert Commands the Watch Commander to "shout", and he yells "I AM THE WATCH COMMANDER. I LOVE MY JOB". Yanking a rope he raises a quiet, banner based alarm and hands himself in as a heretic. Other paladins arrive and are convinced to take the Watch Commander down to the dungeon.

Down in the dungeon, Dob and Prudence kick off in order to lure more guards into their cell, knocking Corazón and Merilwen to the floor. Corazón locks the others downstairs and attempts to headbutt a nearby paladin. Not only does he miss but fails to style it out, initiating combat. Egbert blesses the party, Corazón cuts a man into three, Merilwen turns into a bear, freaking Corazón out, and decapitates a paladin, all before their opponents can react. A soothing lullaby from Dob causes one guard to turn on his allies incapacitating one of them. On the guard's turn, they find Bearilwen and Corazón standing over two corpses. Almost immediately the three of them are religiously re-educated and barbequed by Egbert, and once the Watch Commander has been bathed in Merilwen's Moonbeam the fight is over.

Their victory is cut short by a terrible shaking and a roar. Two of the defeated paladins offer to help and Corazón releases them from their cell. In the central hall they face a hulking Owlbear, which the Order had tried to keep asleep by silencing everyone. But much to the everyone's dismay, Merilwen begins the fight by casting Animal Friendship, immediately pacifying it. Prudence wants to kill it while it is under the spell, but Dob names it "Owlsworth", preventing her from killing it. Flannery suggests they could use it in Lady Fyengeh's shows, but Merilwen and Dob aren't happy with that either. In the end, Merilwen convinces the others to set it free somewhere far from civilisation. Dob find the wheels and melts all the gold off with Heat Metal, revealing the steel underneath. With the wheels retrieved there is a silent victory march through town.

Back at the carriage, the wheels of steel are returned to the Omnibus. Merilwen turns into a bear, and her and Owlsworth lift the bus up so they can put the wheels back on. Lady Fyengeh is thrilled that the wheels of steel have returned to the Fyengeh Bus, and the troupe begin to give the greatest concert the town has ever seen. Owlsworth bids the Guild farewell and charges off into the forest, and everyone is pretty sure he won't harm anyone ever again.

Notable Events

 * Corazón casts his first spell, grease, with a bacon sandwich. This then leads to...
 * Merilwen's Meatgrinder. In one round of combat a full detatchment of paladins have their "feet stabbed to near death" as Egbert manically tolls a huge bell above. 1 is killed instantly while 5 others are mortally wounded.
 * Merilwen wildshapes into a bear for the first time.

Guild Hijinks

 * "Fighting for love" and "Not thinking about things" are settled on as the two core pillars of the Guild.
 * Once again they manage to sidestep the big boss with ease.

Character Development

 * Much to his relief Corazón discovers that Merilwen doesn't mind his swearing.
 * Egbert realises that sometimes bombs aren't the only option and is deeply satisfied by just ringing the bell rather than blowing it up.
 * Despite their initial hostility the Guild eventually comes to love Flannery.

Trivia

 * This episode is named after the band.

Behind The Scenes Trivia

 * The outside shot of the town church is from a church located in Peterborough, England.
 * The image used to depict the lawman Corazón speaks to is a painting by Henry Stacy Marks of Dogberry, a character from Shakespeares "Much Ado About Nothing"
 * Lady Fyengeh and her traveling band of minstrels is a reference to the 1999 song "We Like to Party" by the European pop music group The Vengaboys. The joke was surprisingly well hidden until the end of the campaign and particularly wrecked Andy, causing him to be paranoid about Vengaboys references in a later campaign.
 * When they first come into the town of Inkwater to converse with the townspeople, Andy, Luke, Mike, Johnny and Ellen are all really whispering, with Jane being the only one sensible enough to simply state that her character was whispering.
 * This was the first time they levelled up on camera, adding a ton of new spells to their repertoire. Some of these spells have been unused.
 * Technically, the Animal Friendship spell shouldn't have worked, since the Owlbear isn't classified as an animal, but Johnny liked the plan so much he allowed it to happen.