Exhibition Impossible

Exhibition Impossible is the 1st Oxventure episode of the Second 3 and the 18th episode overall, in which the Oxventurers have an unexpected reunion.

Synopsis
An encounter with a whale brings the Oxventure heroes face to face with Panniers, former crewmate of Corazón and current undead pirate. Can Corazón, Dob, Egbert, Merilwen and Prudence reach the mysterious Treasury and break the curse on Corazón's old crew?

Summary
After the events of the last adventure, with Merilwen finding out her cat got turned into a hat and Dob getting cursed, the Guild is spending some time off at sea in order to get over the heaviness. Corazón is sunbathing, Merilwen is in the crows nest (disappointed at the lack of crows), Prudence is studying her tomes, and Egbert is vomiting over the side of the ship, with Dob using Prestidigitation to flavour the vomit like a strawberry milkshake.

Prudence is looking out to sea for any signs of Cthulhu when she spots something in the water. Merilwen hears a familiar sound before Henry The Humpback Whale crashing onto the ship, pitching The Joyful Damnation down and nearly flinging Corazón out of his deck chair. Merilwen casts Speak with Animals to talk with the whale, but it vomits onto the deck before it can say anything. Dob starts scooping up the vomit, thinking it's ambergris (which humpbacks don't make), but it suddenly stands up. The figure reveals himself to be Panniers, although Corazón thinks it's Captain Milquetoast at first.

Panniers sends the whale back into the sea and explains that, having spent nearly two years inside the whale, he has done some self reflecting and has decided that he doesn't want to kill Corazón anymore, and just wants his curse to be over. He asks Corazón how many coins he has, to which reveals that he has seven out of eight, having gone looking for them while away from the other Guild members, much to Panniers' delight, but they refuse to tell him where they are. Panniers agrees to work together to find the last coin so they can throw them back in the cave they found them in, known as the "Curse Hole" by the pirates.

Panniers explains that a few weeks back the whale, who he's named "Panniers II", accidentally swallowed another person. The two of them talked and the man revealed that he works for a collector named Victor Dietrich, the man who lives in The Treasury. Corazón gets excited, because The Treasury is a place of pirate legend, as it is a building on an island in the middle of the sea and houses the biggest collection of treasure in G'eth. Corazón explains that the only time anyone outside of The Treasury is allowed on the island is a party that is held once every five years.

Panniers then reveals that the whale knows where The Treasury is. Corazón wants to go to find the last coin and also steal all the treasure. Dob on the other hand is interested if Panniers fell in love with the other man, who left the whale a while ago, but Panniers explains that he isn't looking for a relationship at the moment and doesn't think pity is a good foundation for a relationship.

Despite Dob being worried that stealing from The Treasury might result in every thief hunting them down, everyone agrees to go. Dob jumps inside the whale along with Panniers, flavouring himself like krill and caramel. He eventually finds himself in the stomach, which is a pond of bile, lit up only by light coming into the blowhole, which Panniers has put a hammock in. With Panniers out of earshot, Prudence asks Corazón if he wants to kill Panniers when the curse is lifted, but Corazón refuses, wishing his former crew to go on with their lives. With all that sorted, Panniers commands the whale to swim towards The Treasury. The Guild struggle at first, but eventually manage to follow the whale.

After spending most of the day following the whale, to the point of questioning if it does know where The Treasury is, they see the island appear over the horizon. Everyone on the ship is amazed upon seeing the building on the island. Meanwhile, in the whale, Bob asks Panniers if he bares any ill will towards Corazón, but Panniers says he is genuinely fed up with the curse. Dob says he hopes Corazón and Panniers will be friends after the curse is lifted, but Panniers thinks "friends" is too strong a word. Never the less, Panniers promise that he won't harm any of them so long as no harm comes across the whale.

With that sorted, Pannier and Dob get fired out of the whale via the blowhole. Panniers lands in the water and climbs on deck, but Dob belly flops into the sea and kills a shark, causing a feeding frenzy of other sharks, and Dob to hurry aboard the ship. Panniers passes a spyglass around, allowing them to get a good view of The Treasury. They then see a large amount of ships sailing towards the island. Corazón and Merilwen notice that all the ships are taking the same winding path towards the island, and none of them are heading straight towards the island. Everyone comes to the conclusion that there must be a maze of traps under the water, and there must be a safe path that all the ships know.

Corazón suggests that they watch the ships and see if they can memorise the path by sight, but Merilwen uses Wild Shape to turn into an octopus and dives into the water. She swims towards a nearby ship and latches onto it, releasing a trail of ink for her friends to follow. Meanwhile, Egbert goes to put on his wolf pelt coat so he looks smart for the party. Panniers and the whale have an emotional farewell and the ship heads into the unseen maze, following Octowen's trail. As Octowen leaves her trail, she spots a bunch of sea mines and the wreckage of at least a hundred ships. Corazón sails through the maze expertly, shocking his Guild mates, as he looks like an actual pirate.

Octowen begins to struggle, as she begins to run out of ink, causing it to turn colour and a weird turquoise colour. Corazón looks at the ships and is baffled to see that the people range from the very rich to the very poor, spotting a lone man on a small fishing boat. Dob wonders what connects all these people, to which Corazón brings up the question why Victor holds these parties anyway. Dob suggests that they should go in without a plan. Panniers gets confused and annoyed by the Guild and goes gets a drink. Dob suggests they pretend that Prudence is an empress and they are her servants, which Prudence loves.

Octowen struggles to cling on to her ship so much that she accidentally releases all her remaining ink at once in a big cloud of ink. Corazón panics and drops the anchor, causing Pannier to spill his drink. Octowen looks around and sees what she hopes is the right way, and swims to the surface to guide the ship through the maze. As they journey through, they make a turn too sharp and scrape the ship against a sharp metal spike, causing water to pour in below deck. Dob rushes downstairs and casts Mending, sealing up the leak.

Eventually, they make it through. They are guided towards a jetty by a man with two torches. Egbert is unimpressed by this and takes of his wolf pelt coat, feeling like they don't deserve to see it. The Guild notice that the staff is wearing the same outfit. Prudence suggests that they either murder the staff and steal their clothes or murder some guests and steal their clothes, but Corazón doesn't see the point of doing that. Corazón sneaks on shore and eavesdrops on a staff member talking to the lone fisherman they saw, impressing his Guild mates. The staff member asks the fisherman to hand over the sea chart he was following so they can hide any potential roots they may employ after the root changes after the party. The fisherman hands it over and the staff member rips it up without looking and stuffs it into a satchel.

Corazón sneaks back to the ship and relays the information. Egbert is annoyed that Corazón didn't show this skill at Mistmire, but Corazón doesn't remember going there. With no obvious invitation inspection, Corazón suggests that they just use one of his spare sea charts, since the staff member didn't seem to verify the authenticity of the fisherman's chart. Dob suggests that they better rip the chart up for the staff member to better their chances, which Corazón does. After Octowen helps the staff tie up the ship, horrifying them in the process, she turns back into her Elf self and head towards the staff member with the others.

Corazón hands the staff member the shredded sea chart, and he and Dob point out that it's probably not a good idea for him to have all those pieces on him, as someone could kill him and steal the pieces. The staff member realises that this is a flaw in the system, and begins wondering if he should have been destroying the charts as he went. He decides to destroys the chart pieces right away, gives them a panicked, jumbled up version of the welcome speech he gave the fisherman. Egbert asks if he's alright, and if his boss is mean. The staff member explains that Victor is a kind man, and he loves his job, but he sometimes wishes to be free as he feels trapped, which Panniers relates to. Dob offers the man a job aboard their ship, but he refuses, which Dob accepts. The Guild then head to the party as the staff member runs off to deal with the potential security risk.

The Guild enter the party, which has people playing music and serving foods from far and wide on trays. Corazón thinks they should keep a low profile, but Egbert immediately runs from platter to platter eating sixty five canipes, leaving whatever he fails to eat on the walls and floors, which Panniers eats. Everyone else at the party thinks this is a performance and applaud, and this spectacle has caught the attention of Victor Dietrich. Noticing this, Egbert volunteers to distract Victor, while everyone else searches the museum. As Victor finishes a conversation with another guest, the group splits up, Corazón, Dob Merilwen and Panniers go to the coin section, and Prudence goes into the occult section.

As Victor approaches Egbert, Egbert nicks two drinks from a platter, spilling them slightly in the process, and greets Victor. The two get chatting, and Victor explains that he once was an adventurer, but the adventurers life has filled him with so much dread that Victor can only handle socialising once every five years, which Victor enjoys as much as he can. Victor then explains that he made The Treasury because, as he slowed down adventuring, he did some self reflecting and decided to give back to society, and to atone for stealing and robbing the people who didn't consent to giving up their riches, by displaying all his treasure so everyone can, and says that he plans to open the museum to everyone once he died, but only allows those whom he deems worthy at the moment.

Egbert suggests that maybe Victor shouldn't make anything conditional on his death, which Victor agrees perhaps isn't the best idea. Egbert then confesses he was worried that it was one of those parties where the rich eat the poor, which Victor hasn't heard of and is confused that Egbert knows of such a thing. Victor asks what order Egbert serves, and Egbert explains that he was a member of The Noble Order of Le Dragon D'or, but got kicked out and has founded his own order, "The Order of La Vache Mauve". Victor is intrigued by this, and invites Egbert up to his study.

As this is going on, Corazón and co. enter the coin section and discover that Victor has structured it like a very educational, yet very dull, journey through the history of money, but can't find the coin they're looking for. Dob and Corazón discretely ask a staff member if they know where the coin is, but it becomes obvious to Merilwen that no one in this conversation knows anything about coins. The staff member says she'll look for the coin, but disappears into the crowd. As Corazón and Dob discuss whether to steal all the coins or burn down the exhibit, Merilwen "finds" the coin, but it turns out to be a brass coin with a monkey butt on it.

Meanwhile, Prudence is alone in the occult section, as it is too spooky for everyone else. She finds relics of ancient civilisations and evidence of deities that didn't last very long. Suddenly, she gets entranced by an orb on display, which calls out to her, asking her to steal it. Her Grimoires whimper in fear as a hole opens in the glass container, allowing Prudence to steal it. The glass then seals back up, and Prudence becomes aware that Dob is using Message to communicate with her. Dob asks her to come to the coin section and help them detect the cursed coin. Prudence then pockets the mysterious orb, which seems to be some kind of puzzle, and heads to the coin section.

Once there, Dob tells her to use Detect Magic to find the cursed coin, and then heads off to the music section. Prudence eventually finds the coin they're looking for in a separate section dedicated to pirate treasure, which has a watery effect shinning on the walls, in the centre of the room on a stone plinth under a glass bell. Panniers suddenly becomes serious, and asks how they are going to steal it. Corazón and Prudence search for any magic based/invisible traps, but can't find any. Corazón thinks that this is too easy for the impossible to rob place he's heard so much about, and suspects that there's something else they can't see.

Meanwhile, Dob approaches the curator of the music section and asks what the defences they implement, to prevent such lovely instruments form being stolen. The curator explains that the exhibits are pressurised and let off a silent alarm when they sense any weight change, so as to not ruin anyone's time at the museum and to make the thieves feel an false sense of security. Dob then rewards the curator by giving him all of his money. The curator is so happy at this that he decides to let Dob play one of the instruments, a recorder. As the curator disables the alarm, Dob uses Prestidigitation to create a mirror behind the curator so he can spy on the disable process. After having a quick blow on the recorder, Dob heads back to the others.

Dob finds the others just as they are about to smash the glass jar with a hammer. Dob tells them about the pressure system, and how it is possible to keep the mechanism in place, but the curator took minutes to do so. Prudence suggests that they kidnap the curator Dob just spoke to and have him disable the alarm. Not wanting to put the nice man in harms way, Dob begins to rattle off half thought out alternative plans.

Back with Egbert, he has been entertaining Victor and telling him about how he's seen La Vache Mauve. Victor thinks this will make a great addition to his collection, but Egbert wants something in return. Egbert tries to get the cursed coin, as keeping it perpetuates the curse on the pirates, but Victor feels that once the museum is open to the public that will atone any evil he may unintentionally cause, and offers Egbert a weapon instead, which Egbert accepts. He gives Egbert a mace that has a one in six chance of turning things into something else. He then explains that he used it to turn a thief into a chicken, and proceeded to eat it, something he occasionally wonders is technically cannibalism.

Meanwhile, Dob has run out of plans to use instead of the kidnapping plan, and reluctantly agrees to go along with it, making a cupboard very comfy to hold the music curator in once the alarm is disabled. Corazón and Prudence head to the music section. They try to charm the curator into helping them, but when that fail Corazón subtly sticks a dagger in his side and forces him to cooperate. The curator spots Dob along to way and asks him to help, to which Dob tries to cast Sleep on Corazón. When that fails, Dob claims that he'll go get help, but just leaves the room, not wanting to dirty his hands further.

Corazón then orders the curator to disable the alarm on the coin, but the curator warns him that the mechanism is much more difficult than the ones he's used to, but he can try. The curator then fiddles with the mechanism for a bit, but then there's a huge "ca-chunk" and a large metal door closes on the room. A voice then warns them that the room is about to fill up with acid if they don't put in the right code. They then look up and see that the watery effect in the room is being made by a giant vat of acid that is acting as the ceiling of the room.

Meanwhile, Victor hears the alarm. Egbert immediately hits Victor on the back of the head with the mace. Nothing happens, and Victor asks why he hit him. Egbert tries to play it off like he just slipped, but Victor realises that Egbert is a thief, hits a button on the side of the wall, and draws a rapier, challenging Egbert to a fight. Egbert tells him that he is a cannibal, hurting Victor's feeling, and hits him with his mace again, knocking him out. Egbert is disappointed that nothing happened to him, and proceeds to poke him with his mace until he turns into a seal. Egbert then casts Cure Wounds on the seal that was formerly Victor, which wakes him up. The seal is very angry, but Egbert tells him he could have eaten him, which puts the seal into reluctant submission. Egbert then renames the seal "Seal Gaiman", and leaves the room with his new pet.

While all this is happening, Merilwen turns into a bear and tries to lift up the metal door, Corazón helping her, but it doesn't work. With the alarm already triggered, Corazón steals the coin, to save him doing it later, and puts it in his pocket. Dob thinks about using Heat Metal on the door, but it's too think to work. Out of desperation, Corazón tries to disable the alarm by fiddling with the mechanism, which, despite Corazón not knowing what does what, works and the alarm is disabled and the door opens.

With the situation defused, Bearilwen turns back into her Elf self and Dob sends the curator to sleep and puts him in the cupboard he made. Corazón then tells Dob to Mend the glass, to make it look like nothing happened, and proceeds to shallow the coin. Suddenly, the system gets the command from Victor, and a door in the wall slides open, revealing an Automaton armed with a cannon. Prudence hits the Automaton with a double Agonizing Blast, damaging it and smashing it into the cabinet containing the monkey butt coin, which Corazón steals. Corazón gets the idea to plug the cannon with something, making Prudence worry that it will be her new puzzle box, but luckily for her Corazón spots a golden melon, and jam it in the cannon with Mage Hand Legerdemain.

With the Automaton's main method of offence incapacitated, Merilwen casts Moonbeam to shower the enemy with energy from on high. But, as soon as she casts it, see realises that since the vat of acid is above the Automaton the Moonbeam will crack it and release the acid everywhere. Everyone else realises this too, except for Panniers, who rushes in attacks the robot, getting blasted by the Moonbeam in the processes. Dob considers all of his options, and pulls out his hammer and summons the skeletons and Flame Skull, and tells them to get all his friends out of the room, not caring if they mentally scar them. The skeletons then carry them out of the room, including the curator in the cupboard, while whispering hurtfully true things, as the vat of acid cracks and sends the acid pouring down on the Automaton and Panniers, destroying both, while Dob backflips out of the room.

The skeletons then drop the Guild off on the Joyful Damnation, most of whom are emotionally hurt. One skeleton approaches Corazón, who reveals himself to be Panniers, and asks if they put breaking the curse on hold while he grows his skin and organs back. Panniers then steals the fisherman's boat and deliberately drives it straight into the mines, setting them off and destroying the unseen maze. The party guests come outside and applaud the explosions, thinking it's part of the event, while people heading to the party scream in alarm. As the sunsets, and they see Panniers get eaten by the whale in the distance, everyone turns to Corazón, who is patting his stomach with determination. Egbert then turns up and introduces his new pet.

Notable Events

 * The Guild reunite with Panniers.
 * Prudence acquires a cursed puzzle orb.
 * Egbert gets a new cursed mace.
 * Corazón retrieves the last cursed coin.

Guild Hijinks

 * Egbert turns an old man into a seal.

Character Development

 * The skeletons seem happy to see the Guild.

Trivia
TBA

Behind The Scenes Trivia
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